Igniting the Fire Within Me – All Aboard ACT UP

I was diagnosed with HIV exactly 6 years ago, and it ignited a fire within me, catapulting my life on a trajectory which I could never have imagined. That fire was a strong sense of injustice, and it came hand in hand with a recognition that I’ve got a voice and power that I could use as a weapon to fight it head on.

I spent the first few years after my diagnosis coming to terms with the fact that I’d now be living with a lifelong manageable chronic condition (as HIV now is), learning about the “Partner” scientific studies which proved beyond any doubt that on effective meds I am zero threat to everyone, and that U equals U: Undetectable (my viral load on effective meds) = Untransmittable (the virus to anyone else whether it be via unprotected sex, giving birth or any other means). I knew from early on that by sharing my diagnosis and these learnings, I was able to smash the outdated fear and stigma lingering from pre-1996 when the diagnosis was a literal death sentence to 98% of those who got it.

Thankfully, post-1996, thanks to a group of dedicated activists who had tirelessly campaigned, protested, lobbied and fought to ensure effective medication was available for all who needed it, HIV was finally treatable and the 98% turned into the survival rate instead. This incredible group of people were part of a dedicated non-partisan organisation called ACT UP – Aids Coalition to Unleash Power.

ACT UP chapters exist all over the world, and when I found out there was one in London, I knew I wanted to be a part of it. Life, as it does sometimes however, took over and through the barrage of lockdown and other major life happenings, I finally joined my first ACT UP meeting in January of this year. I met a wonderful collection of diverse, passionate and driven activists, and knew straight away that I was amongst kin. Soon after, on both sides of the Atlantic, devastating funding cuts were applied, causing clinics all over the majority world to shut their doors, denying those with HIV their lifesaving medication and thwarting efforts to stop the spread of the virus. The gratitude that came from the lottery of being born in the UK, where there are no barriers to medication, coupled with my internal fire, was undeniable proof that I’d joined ACT UP not a day too late.

In a time of continuing stigma, injustice and discrimination against those living with HIV and AIDS, there’s no doubt a lot of work to do for those of us who class ourselves as activists, but just as important is the need to connect with each other in love and ritual, revitalise our energies and celebrate the giants that came before us. This is exactly what the All Aboard ACT UP – Pride Celebration of AIDS Activism Boat Party on 24th May represented.

Video credit: @kamlanm

Setting off on the Thames on a party boat beautifully laden with protest banners and prints of some of these giants, the protest party kicked off with an emotionally charged ceremony dedicated to “remember the dead to fight like hell for the living”. Recognising grief as a tool for transformation and action has always been at the heart of ACT UP since its inception in 1987, during the darkest days of the AIDS crisis, and the boat party was no different. As a relative newbie to ACT UP, hearing my fellow activists sharing stories of their loved ones and their inspirations for being there that day was, of course, sad, but the grief catalysed into being positively electric and inspiring for all in attendance.

Excitedly for me, there were several of us celebrating our annHIVersaries (the anniversaries of the day we received our diagnoses) and we were all invited to speak. With only 6 years since my diagnosis, I was humbled to be invited to do so by the lovely Dan Glass, who’s been helping to sail the ACT UP London ship since it reformed in 2014 and was himself celebrating his 20 year annHIVersary. Others respectfully considered “Elders” amongst our community were celebrating their 35 and 42 year landmarks.

There was, as Maz another ACT UP activist, perfectly stated: 

A later ritual involving throwing stones into the Thames because “”rivers need a strong river bed and river bank that enables the water to keep flowing and moving”” reminded us all of the importance and power of collective action and that together people absolutely do have power! Incredibly empowering, concreting the feeling of community and family for all who took part.

Sailing down the Thames, throwing middle fingers up the Houses of Parliament felt particularly apt given the time and occasion! The final few hours of the party saw a lineup of fabulous DJs, lots of dancing and a full on celebration of life!

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All images courtesy of Dan Hall @londonbornqueer