We’re not anti-technology. Geo-location capabilities have been a game-changer in the way that we connect with each other. A hook-up app such as Gaydar.net is clearly the most efficient way to figure out who’s in your neighbourhood and who might be up for some fun.
The transactional encounters facilitated by online dating apps are great if you’re looking for a bit of validation or some no-strings action, but we’re hearing from a lot of guys that they’re also looking for something more – something a bit deeper, something a bit more meaningful, something a bit more authentic.
Our advice? Put down your phone.
Online versus real-life
Our dependence on technology seems to be having some unintended consequences on human behaviour.
The distinction between how we communicate online and how we communicate in person is becoming increasingly blurred.
In simple terms, hook-up app culture is reshaping how we connect and interact with each other in real life.
Is this a problem?
If real-life conversations are leaving you feeling awkward, frustrated, and isolated, it’s probably an indicator that you need to brush up on your real-world interpersonal skills. If you don’t know how to do that, it’s likely that you’ll start avoiding real-life conversations and retreat to online spaces where you feel safer navigating your virtual connections.
Is old-school the way forward?
If you’re not meeting the guys that you want to meet or not making the kind of connections you want to make, it’s worth reflecting on what we can learn from our gay forefathers. How did dudes organise their hook-ups before everyone was addicted to their phones?
Obviously, there was a lot of cruising. But you also had to put yourself in situations where you might meet new people – that means getting out of your comfort zone and putting your real-world conversation skills to the test. The idea of walking into a room full of people that you don’t know can be a bit intimidating. Your social anxiety is likely to be triggered if you’re effectively thrown in the deep end. An easier starting point might be a small group event that has a bit of structure and a bit of focus.
After-work socials
It’s a small step in the right direction, but we’re hosting a series of After-work socials in London.
These are small-group events where guys get together after work. But it’s not a sex party – it’s not a free-for-all. Each event has some structure and some intention so that even the most socially awkward among us can get involved and be part of the conversation.
Our next After-work social will be a beer-tasting event that we’re presenting in partnership with Seven Seasons, a family-run craft beer bottle shop in Hoxton.
It’s taking place on Thursday, 5th February, from 6:30pm to 8:30pm. Tickets are available via OutSavvy.
It’s low-stakes. Worst-case scenario, you’ll taste a few interesting beers on your way home from work. The upside is that you might also meet some interesting guys, enjoy some beer-related chat, and have a laugh. It’s better than being ghosted, right?
All you need to do is put down your phone.
