Perhaps surprisingly, the men of London seem to have been open to having a chat with Dan Morgan – host of the Queer Encounters podcast.
“I was really surprised by how open and interesting the people that I talked to were…” admits Dan, discussing the podcast with Naked Men Talking. “In that first 30 minutes when you don’t know a person, there’s a really exciting point of discovery for me where I feel like I can prod and the person can also open up to you like a blank canvas. They can give you a version of themselves that they want to give.”
Although his original intention was to photograph the men that he encountered at the men’s swimming pond, Dan began recording his introductory chats with the guys that he approached so that he could give some context to the images he was capturing.
“I listened to a podcast called Strangers on a Bench – it’s simply this guy, and he goes up to people on benches, and he just has a conversation with them…” explains Dan. “I listened to those conversations, and I thought, I’ve got that – I’ve got that in a particular place and with a particular group of people that I really connect with. It gave me permission – I realised that the audio that I’d recorded with the men on Hampstead Heath was really special.”
The result is a podcast that explores the ways that queer people find and connect with each other.
While the location of the interviews may have skewed the sample, one theme that comes through strongly is the difference in making in-person connections through cruising compared to the experience of hook-up apps and online dating.
“What I was hearing was that guys are frustrated with hook-up apps… ” shares Dan. “It almost feels as if whoever you’re chatting to online doesn’t actually want to meet up – they just want to see your dick pics. Looking for intimacy when you’re cruising feels different – if a dude has taken the time out of their day to go to a place known for cruising, then they’ve already committed more than most people do who are just endlessly scrolling on their phone at home.”
It almost feels counterintuitive – cruising encounters don’t generally include much conversation; you’re communicating with eye contact and body language. Is that the kind of intimacy that we’re looking for? Is that the kind of intimacy that is missing from our lives?
“A lot of the people that I spoke to in the cruising areas, I don’t even think they were there primarily for the sex… ”, shares Dan. “It was just wanting to be in an atmosphere where you feel the excitement in the air that things are happening – you feel alive.”
But is the Queer Encounters podcast advocating that we all put down our phones? Should we give up scrolling and swiping and instead head to our nearest cruising spot if we’re looking for some fun?
“That feels like a very natural conclusion to take from it, but I also don’t feel like that is a new perspective…” reflects Dan. A big part of my interest in this project is from a technology perspective – I’d like to think that there’s a healthy, interesting role that technology can play as we do our best to navigate the search for intimacy. Technology shouldn’t just slowly reduce us all to sitting around in isolation, scrolling aimlessly – it should somehow improve the connections that we make with each other.”
While Season 1 of Queer Encounters centres the men of Hampstead Heath, Dan’s exploration of intimacy isn’t limited to London.
“My husband and I recently moved to Torremolinos…” says Dan. “It’s the gayest place. Season Two is going to be all about the beach in Torremolinos. I’m also looking at a series that enables you to hear the stories of the men that you see on your hook-up app grid.”
Our search for intimacy and connection requires us to present a version of ourselves to the world that we hope other guys will respond positively to. Whether we’re doing that while cruising or scrolling the apps, the stories of Queer Encounters encourage us to be vulnerable, to be authentic, and to continue the search.
● Queer Encounters is available on all podcast platforms.
● You can see the full conversation with Dan Morgan on Naked Men Talking.
