There was the festival where it rained sideways for three days and I wore the wrong shoes. The Pride where I lost my friends within forty minutes and spent two hours pretending I was fine standing alone near a speaker. The situationship that lasted approximately six weeks longer than it should have, which I am choosing not to discuss further.

And yet, somehow, it was one of the better summers I can remember. Which tells you something about the bar, or possibly about me.

Autumn has arrived and I am, for once, genuinely relieved. The pressure of summer, the body, the plans, the relentless optimism lifts. The nights draw in. The energy shifts from frantic to something more deliberate. And I find myself restocking, refreshing, and thinking about what I actually want from the next few months rather than what I think I should want.

Here is what is in my basket right now. Consider this a dispatch from someone who has tried most things at least once and has the receipts.

The room aroma situation

I have been using Berlin XXX for longer than I care to admit. Every year I tell myself I am going to find something better. Every year I end up back here. It is the musical equivalent of a song you have heard a thousand times that still does exactly what it promises. Consistent, strong, no surprises. Our most returned-to brand by a significant margin, and the customer reviews back this up with an almost suspicious level of consistency.

If you are ready to explore beyond Berlin XXX, Power Rush has been our fastest growing brand this year. The power pellet keeps the formula fresh after opening, a small detail that makes a meaningful difference if you do not get through a bottle in one sitting. Customers who switch to it from the original Rush tend not to switch back. For those who want to go further still, our extra strong range is where the serious repeat buyers tend to live. These are not starting points; they are destinations for people who know exactly what they want and have worked their way up to it.

One practical note for the season: as the temperature drops, store your room aromas correctly. Cool, dark place, cap sealed tight after every use. Not near the radiator. Not on the windowsill. A bottle looked after correctly lasts significantly longer than one that is not, and given what a good bottle costs, this is worth knowing.

The kink situation

Autumn is, objectively, the best season for staying in and doing things you would not necessarily announce at a dinner party. The nights are longer. The excuses are better. The energy shifts from public to private in a way that I personally welcome.

Oxballs continues to be the answer to most questions in the fetish category. The penis ring range in particular has developed a devoted following among our customers, partly because of what it does, and partly because of how well made it is. These are not impulse purchases that get used once. People come back for more sizes, more styles. That tells you something.

For fisting enthusiasts, and autumn does seem to bring a surge of interest in this area, make of that what you will, our fisting toy range has expanded significantly this year. From beginner-friendly options to gear that assumes considerable experience. The product pages are more informative than anything I could summarise here, so I will leave that to them.

Restraints, harnesses, and everything in between: the fetish range at Esmale covers the full spectrum. If you have been thinking about trying something new this autumn and have not quite committed, this is the season to stop thinking and start doing. The worst that can happen is you find something you love.

The toy situation

Every autumn I do a drawer audit. You should too. Not for any particular reason, just because things accumulate, batteries die, and occasionally you find something you forgot you had which is either a pleasant surprise or a slightly concerning one depending on what it is.

The Fleshjack range keeps growing and the newer additions are a genuine step up from the earlier models. If your reference point is something you bought three or four years ago, it is worth revisiting. The realistic texture options in particular.

For anyone who has been curious about prostate play but has not committed, the Rocks Off Rude Boy. I am not going to oversell it, just read the product reviews, this does that more credibly than anything I could write. Just try it.

Lubido Hybrid Lube. Always Lubido Lube. Hybrid formula, long-lasting, plays well with everything. If you are still cycling through options looking for a favourite, this is where most people stop.