22/11/12: OH. MY. FUCKING. DAYS. Excuse such foul language from this rancid old hoof, but if you’ve read my reviews before, you really shouldn’t be expecting anything more!

The reason for this unusual burst of excitement? The Ku Bar World AIDS Day Auction, of course! One of my favourite events of the year returned, where those beautiful Ku Bar Boys get sold off to big-hearted homosexuals with fat wallets, alongside some seriously killer prizes; and his time they’ve only gone and hired one of the BEST cabaret divas on our fair scene.

Yes ladies and gentlequeens, whore of Hampstead Heath, Sandra, was at the helm, cracking wise and being deliciously filthy as ever. Have all our Christmas’s come at once? Honestly, I was as excited as a teenage girl at a Justin Bieber Concert, frothing at the minge and shrieking dramatically.

After accidentally knocking over the drink of a senior Westminster police officer and spilling it all over him (like I need another reason not to stand too close to her!) we got back to the action, and the wonderful Vicki Vivacious was Sandra’s co-host, looking stunning as she trotted out prizes that included One Direction tickets, dinner at Claridges, a signed photo of Tom Daley and so much more.


As the drinks started flowing, the purse strings loosened and the atmosphere was ramped up to epic proportions. It culminated in the annual visit to the Champagne bar upstairs, where the successful bidders got to have a drink with their bar boy of choice – and, honestly, the Ku boy line-up is looking hotter than ever right now!

By the end of the Auction, the amazing figure of £7,500 was raised for The Food Chain and further collections at Ku are expected to bring the figure above the target of £10,000. Well done to everyone involved on the night, you should be so proud!

Ku gaffer Gary Henshaw had this to say to us: “Have you bid on anything yet you fucking cheap bastard?”

Oh God, I love Ku Bar!!!

Ku Bar, 30 Lisle Street, China Town, WC2
Words by Lee Dalloway
Photos by Joel-Ryder.com