Top Five moments from Madonna’s Met Gala Performance…

We are not worthy of the pure light that is Madonna. She had her diamond jubilee of living yesterday, but as a queen she gets a week to celebrate. As a gift to us unworthy, lowly mortals she gifted unto us her very hush hush performance at the 2018 Met Gala and it was all that we’d hoped it would be. Serving monk-virgin realness with all of the 2016 Instagram filters that she could, here are the top five moments from her DIVINE Met performance:

Her army of monks singing in Latin:

I heard they weren’t wearing underwear under those burlap numbers… Madonna knows showmanship, and nothing says SHOWBIZ like a huge troop of backing singers. The theme for the Gala was Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination which is also the title of the following exhibition. Some of the monks actually looked quite sexy, it’s unfortunate that they all didn’t get a sassy reveal. Speaking of…

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The Outfit Reveal:

Every good drag queen knows that the key to a successful performance is an outfit reveal, give it all out up front and there’s nowhere to go. Madonna is the biggest drag queen out there so she knew how to bring the drama. Her dowdy brown robe was torn off by a crew of assistant (as we guess all of her clothes are), to reveal a pearl ensemble of a bustier and  a killer armoured arm. She looked ready for a heavenly battle with the big guy himself.

Wrestle-dancing with the children:

This was undeniably a piece of PERFORMANCE ART. We’re ready to fight anyone who says differently. Step aside Sia and that silly Maddie Ziegler, Madonna is here to struggle with children the way god intended. A set of stairs have never been worked harder than during this section of the performance. All of her backing girls slayed it.

The sexy pianist:

There’s nothing like a hottie with burning talent. Not since Ryan Gosling tickled the ivories in La La Land has playing the piano looked so sexy. The classical piano really elevated the performance, but we much rather enjoyed the intense shots of him doing his thing. Imagine the pressure on the poor guy! Not only are the most well known people on the planet all around you, but you mess up and you have the wrath of Madonna on your back. Better you than us, babe.

HALLE- FUCKING-LUJAH:

HARK NOW HEAR, THE ANGEL SINGS. We just weren’t ready for this number. Tender, etherial, celestial. Giving you emotional rawness covering the iconic Leonard Cohen song, she stripped it all back to show the haters that even now she still has a fantastic set of pipes. This really brought a tear to the eye of everyone in the room. There was no song more perfect for her, for the event, for her outfit. We’re just praying she’ll release this one as a single. 

Here’s to the next 60 years! We can’t wait to see what the holy spirit will conjure up next. Check the whole performance here:

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