The QX Guide to the Gay Panto In London 2019 Season (Oh, Yes it is!)
Reaching unprecedented levels of CAMP, the Christmas pantomime is a festive season staple. Would it even feel like Christmas if you hadn’t spent an evening booing a dame or wolf-whistling a dashing fairy tale prince? This celebrated British tradition is one the gays have embraced with open arms, and you’d struggle to find a panto audience without a few queens who are a couple of wines in. So, without further ado, here are this year’s top picks for gay panto in London:
Pinocchio: No Strings Attached
A lonely puppet maker crafts herself a young man out of wood. When a magic spell brings Pinocchio to life, she gets way more than she bargained for. In this Jon Bradfield and Martin Hooper’s panto, it’s not the puppet’s nose that grows when he lies. Bringing a pesto-flavoured dollop of Italian summer to this winter season, Pinocchio: No Strings Attached is this year’s Above the Stag panto, with songs by Jon Bradfield.
Above the Stag, Vauxhall SE1 7TP abovethestag.org.uk
Cinderella
It’s time to strap on those glass stripper heels. Just make sure they stay on. Taking over the glittering Trafalgar Studios this Christmas with a hyper-draggy take on Cinderella are the Tuck Shop. It’s the rag to riches story we’ve all grown up hearing. A tale as old as time. Actually, that might be a different panto. Starring Drag Race UK royalty Baga Chipz as the wicked stepmother and drag icon Sheila Simmonds as the Fairy God Mother. You shall tuck away your balls, Cinderella!
Trafalgar Studios, Westminster SW1A 2DY. Trafalgar-Studios.com
Gay Panto In London : Slipped
Cinderella, re-booted. This year’s Tavern panto straps a pair of sickening boots on the age-old story. Desperate to attend the Big Society Ball that’s about to take over VauxhallLand, Cinderella wrangles her way in wearing her best frock and a pair of Gucci knock-offs. After her night in paradise, can our princess get herself off Spinstagram? And is Prince Charming perhaps just interested in her Jimmy Choos? The annual Tavern pantomime is a must for every London queer into panto.
The Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Vauxhall SE11 5HY. VauxhallTavern.com
Escape from Planet Trash
Brought to you by the Sink The Pink troupe. The year is 2050 and Planet Trash is the most dangerous place in the solar system, a dumping ground for the universe’s waste. As the countdown to Christmas begins, the planet is under threat from an impending solar flare. Queer space explorer Ginger Johnson is refusing to leave her doomed planet. Will she be convinced to leave her beloved trash behind? Expect drag queens, aliens comedy, giant space spiders and a stellar score.
Pleasance Theatre, North Road N7 9EF. Pleasance.co.uk
The Nativity Panto – A Not-So-Silent Night
A gloriously festive boutique pantomime form the Charles Court Opera. This year they’re tackling the story that spared the season and sprinkling it with magic, whimsy and Christmas cheer. Expect a miraculous mix of jaw-dropping musical numbers, devilish double entendre and, as expected, the unexpected. Follow the north star to the King’s Head Theatre for a rip-raw evening of holy absurdity.
King’s Head Theatre, Islington N1 1QN. KingsHeadTheatre.com
Goldilocks and the Three Bears
Taking over the Palladium before Madame X digs her claws in. Enter the magical world of Goldilocks and her Three Bears, where one of London’s most iconic venue will be transformed into a fantastical circus. Anything could and probably will happen. Head-spinning tricks and gag-worthy theatrics starring Paul O’Grady, Julian Clary and One Show dreamboat Matt Baker.
The London Palladium, Soho W1F 7TF. PalladiumPantomime.com
Dick Whittington and his Cat
Hamilton star Tarinn Callender tackles panto’s most notorious Dicks. In Jamaica, a young Dick Whittington is boarding a boat set for his new life in the gold-paved streets of London. Little does he know that magic awaits him and his feline friend on that wide ocean. Tackling true love and rodent royalty Queen Rat, this is one journey he’ll never forget. Boo-able baddies and gut-busting gags, hop on board this rocking ship and strap in for a wild ride.
Hackney Empire, Hackney E8 1EJ. HackneyEmpire.co.uk
Read More related to Gay Panto in London – Our top picks for the festive season:
Onstage at The Stag – our guide to festive goings-on at the UK’s only LGBT+ theatre
