QX Meets… Oli Spleen
Brighton-based queer artist Oli Spleen has released a new album of music which reflects his AIDS experience in 2000. Jason Reid caught up with Oli to find out more about the personal significance of Night Sweats & Fever Dreams, and how AIDS changed their life forever…
Tell us briefly about the new album.
The songs in the album are framed as the hallucinations of a dying man at the height of the AIDS epidemic. I came very close to dying of AIDS myself, in the summer of 2000; those experiences informed a lot of the songs.
Who is this music for?
I guess I write for my own wellbeing primarily, as a form of catharsis. If this writing can touch another person emotionally or help them through hard times then that’s a bonus, but I don’t write with an audience in mind. Sometimes I will write a lyric to my past self with words of hope that I would have liked to have heard when I was younger, but this album is pretty dark with virtually no hope or redemption until the final track, After the Flood. My collaborator Nick Hudson and I did release a double A-side charity single from this album for last World AIDS Day which raised over £300 for Terrence Higgins Trust. The album is dedicated to those who didn’t survive the AIDS epidemic.
Favourite track from the album?
The Bedroom is a tribute to the LGBT+ acts of the eighties who were defiant in the face of great oppression. It’s a definite nod to the likes of Jimmy Someville, Soft Cell, Coil and The Petshop Boys; thanks to my collaborator Nick Hudson’s fantastic production. The song also sets the tone for the record, though no two songs are alike and I feel the album takes the listener on a journey and should be listened to in sequence as a whole.
Why did you base the album around your HIV/AIDS experience?
I just had a lot of songs on the subject so it felt natural to put them together on one album. My first album, 2013’s Fag Machine, touches on a few similar themes, particularly on the tracks Brother Let Me Live and Death Rattle, but its follow-up, 2019’s Gaslight Illuminations, focussed instead on an abusive relationship which I’d just been through with a partner who had a meth problem. It seemed right to revisit the HIV/AIDS themes for an album to be released twenty years after my hospitalisation and near-death at the hands of AIDS defining complications. These included; tuberculosis, pneumonia, a pericardial effusion and peripheral neuropathy which meant I couldn’t walk for a time.
How did that experience change you?
Prior to my hospitalisation aged twenty-two I had been suicidal and had attempted suicide a few times. I had come out to my mum aged seventeen but she swept it under the carpet hoping it was a phase and didn’t tell my dad as he was pretty homophobic then, and they were going through a divorce. It was only when I ended up in hospital that I felt I was able to talk to them about my sexuality and a dialogue finally opened. This was when I realised that they loved me no matter what. My mum is married to a woman now and my niece who was born the day I was checked into hospital is also gay, so they are glad that I paved the way for them.
The other life-changing experience was when a doctor came to me when I was very close to death to tell me I was within my rights to turn down the medication I was being offered and could effectively be dead within a week if I chose to. For the first time in my life I realised I wanted to live but I had to do something with my life to make it worthwhile. I’m sure people on their deathbed in their nineties must also have this epiphany but they don’t get a second chance. Though my road to recovery was a long one I felt privileged that I had this realisation aged twenty-two and swore that if I could live another year, I’d write a book. That book, Depravikazi, was published in 2003 by Running Water Publications and I formed my first band, The Flesh Happening, at its Brighton launch
What does your HIV status mean to you now?
It’s not something I can separate from who I am. My experiences have given me a greater sense of empathy for others who have experienced hardships. They have also helped me to understand what it is to be alive. We only get one chance at life (as far as we know) so I feel we should strive to be true to ourselves and learn from our experiences to develop and grow with wisdom and compassion.
How has covid and lockdown affected you as an HIV person?
I live in a council flat in Brighton where the virus was first detected in the UK. I feel sure I came in contact with it there and was exhibiting symptoms when I came to quarantine in my sister’s shed in the countryside just outside of Hastings. After about a week or two here my symptoms went away but I’m in no rush to get back to Brighton. My sister’s family are very supportive of me and I feel safe and privileged to be here. Since lockdown a series of my vlogs have been made into a short documentary by StrayDog Pictures called, At Risk: Surviving a Pandemic with HIV. I have also worked on a handful of songs, one of which was a charity single with other Brighton musicians called The Western Pier which is raising money for Save Our Venues.
Who are your HIV heroes?
Anyone who has stood in defiance against the hatred and scapegoating of the time is a hero to me. Those who come to mind include artists; David Wojnarowicz, Derek Jarman, Leigh Bowery, Keith Haring and Robert Mapplethorpe. Musicians; Klaus Nomi, Jobriath, Freddie Mercury, Ricky Wilson, Sylvester Liberace. Actors; Anthony Perkins and Rock Hudson and the poet Thom Gunn whose poetry collection The Man with Night Sweats inspired the name of my album.
Anything else you want to add?
Just to acknowledge how lucky I am to be here to tell this story twenty years on. As I lay in hospital in the summer of 2000, I thought I would be lucky to live another year. I never envisaged the journey that I have experienced since then and I am eternally grateful for the sacrifices of those who came before me; who aren’t here to tell their story.
Night Sweats & Fever Dreams is available now on Bandcamp
