In a world divided by cultural, religious, and sexual identities, love often emerges as a powerful force that transcends boundaries. While the relationship between Adam and Ali blossomed in a time of increasing acceptance for LGBTQ+ individuals, their personal journeys were marked by the complex intersections of faith, sexuality, and cultural heritage. QX is proud to platform their story.
Adam starts the interview by saying, “We both come from very large families, with parents and step-parents, eighteen aunts and uncles and forty first cousins. We also have five sisters, so we have no need to watch the Kardashians as our sisters certainly bring the Kardashians to us and the years of entertainment they have bought into our lives.”
The entertainment part is the children, with ten nieces and nephews between them. It’s no surprise when they say, “It’s a very expensive Christmas, Eid and Hanukkah for us!”
Ali says, “Our childhood memories with such large families were very hectic, but was so much fun. We both seem to have similar memories with busy households, the relationships we had with our grandparents and that unknown feeling we had that we knew we were different.”
Adam’s upbringing was traditional rather than religious, “although I did attend a Jewish school, which meant I developed a strong connection to my Jewish faith.” Adam says that he really loves his religion, and growing up, he was “more religious” than his parents. When he first realised he was gay at around the age of 11, Adam struggled with this and with his faith. “At school, homosexuality was not welcomed, especially from a Jewish school.”
In 2007, aged 17, Adam came out to his parents and sisters. His mum was upset and had lots of questions and also lots of worry about how others within the Jewish community would react to this. It was Adams’s aunt who helped with his mum’s fear and upset as she had married a Catholic man and broke the regular tradition that if you are Jewish, you marry a Jewish person.
Adam’s dad and sisters were supportive and had his back. When Adam went to university, he met other queer Jewish students that he began to accept his sexuality.
Ali’s family was very liberal; they grew up in a Muslim household where they practised certain Muslim traditions, but they were never strictly imposed on him. Ali realised he was gay at the very young age of six. “I knew I was different,” he says, “as when I would play at school, and the boys would chase the girls, I would always be on the girl’s team being chased by the boys.” Ali talks about playing with his cousins, “they never understood why I wanted to play with the pink convertible car with Barbie and Ken, and likewise, I never understood why they would play so violently with that horrible brown car with no handsome blond man sat in it!” He tells me, “I was so obsessed with how glamorous my mum was with her big 80s curly hair, massive shoulder pads, and high heels. What was this obsession? I soon realised as I got older that glam and glitz was to be a big part of my life.”
Ali had to face being gay with no support as there was no education on being gay at school, which also came with the fear he couldn’t come out to his family due to being a Muslim. He remembers conversations where people would say It was wrong and not allowed to be gay. Because of the TV adverts around HIV/Aids, “I thought every gay person would get Aids, and as I got older, I thought I was going to die because I was gay.”
Being bullied at school affected Ali’s education, and he had to re-educate himself once he left school with minimal grades. He had to work hard as he got older in order to have a good career. “When I started work in the late 90s, I was not out; I had a pretend girlfriend and really tried my best to hide my sexuality.” He also tells us, “I was sexually assaulted at work by another man, and when it came out, nothing was done. Looking back at it, I feel so angry and upset that nothing was done, and I had nobody to turn to for self-support.” Ali has also been physically assaulted, “I’ve been attacked twice for being gay. Thankfully, I came out ok, but as we know, some homophobic attacks end much worse.”
Ali’s dad’s family are from Palestine, and his mum’s family are from Northern Cyprus. “I never came out to my dad. Unfortunately, he died in 2011 when I was 30. When I came out to my mum, she cried.” Ali’s mum had fear in her as to how others in the Turkish and Arab communities would react. “It took my mum a very long time to finally come to terms with me being gay. The endless conversations, the tears we cried, the months of not talking, and the energy zapped out of us both are something I cannot even describe. It was tiring!”
Both families soon came around to support them, but “I (Ali) still have some family members who do not talk to me because I am gay, but honestly, I do not care. I’m happy, living my best life, and no longer needing to hide who I am. Our families are very supportive and well-connected, and we know that others out there are not treated the same way by their families, which makes us very sad.”
As a couple their journey started in May 2017 when they first swiped right on each other. Adam says, “several days of WhatsApp messages ensued, now luckily for me voice notes didn’t exist back then as Ali loves a voice note!”
A week later the first date of many happened. Ali went to pick Adam up, and soon, a tall, handsomely dressed all-in-black Adam came sprinting to Ali’s car.
Throughout the date, Adam and Ali did not stop laughing. “We talked about everything, from our families, lives, favourite countries we’d visited and ones we would love to visit. We shared our goals and aspirations, and then we shared the football teams we support… Ali for the Gooners and Adam for the Spurs! It was touch and go for a bit with that!” says Ali laughingly.
It was love at first sight as, in March 2018, Ali moved from the sophisticated streets of Crouch End, North London, to Adam’s flat in Romford. “I mean,” says Ali jokingly, “I was sold the Birds of a Feather and TOWIE Essex dream!”
They say it was being so comfortable with each other so quickly that allowed their relationship to truly blossom and go from strength to strength in a whirlwind few months, with some fantastic dates that included The London Zoo followed by an all-you-can-eat Chinese. “What more could we have asked for”, exclaims Ali.
There followed several holidays, theatre shows, and concerts that Ali dragged Adam to kicking and screaming, “we even made it to The Eurovision Song Contest” explains Ali. They purchased their very first home together in Loughton, the true Essex part where Ali’s Birds of a Feather dream kicked in. As Ali says, “We can honestly say we really have had a blast.”
In May 2022, Adam popped the question to Ali in New York’s Central Park, and they got married in August 2023 at Braxted Park in Essex, surrounded by 160 family members and friends.
“Every element of our wedding day was personalised,¨says Ali, “with important traditions being treasured and celebrated.” “We were happy to disregard those traditions that didn’t match our personal values,” adds Adam, ¨Our wedding day was an honest reflection of our individuality and an exciting glimpse into what our shared future would look like.”
The day kicked off with cups of tea in the groom’s suite with the photographer (Beki) and videographer (Kelly) as they got ready together, playing music and getting into the wedding spirit. “We decided to go traditional with our suits, black and white tuxedos and matching shoes”, says Ali. “Adam surprised me with matching socks with our names and the wedding date.”
Once dressed, they went outside for photographs. “We didn’t want loads of breaks in the day, so it made sense for us to have photographs before the ceremony, with just the two of us at the start and then family photos before everyone was seated,” says Adam, “which would allow us to spend more time with our family and friends instead of being whisked away for hours taking pictures. Our fairytale and truly unique inclusive ceremony was led by Rabbi Rebecca, who spoke about both cultures. The ceremony included Turkish readings and Hebrew blessings, which were read in Turkish and Hebrew and then translated into English. Ali asked for an imam to be present to conduct the ceremony jointly, but unfortunately, he refused. Here’s hoping one day this will change.”
A beautifully dressed Chuppah sanctified both families as they joined beneath it before lighting candles and saying a blessing. Ali and Adam created their marriage contract, using elements from the Ketubah and Turkish blessings reflecting their values. They then gathered lots of family and friends holding rainbow-coloured smoke bombs with them leading in front, capturing the most beautiful pictures with rainbow pride colours. They then entered the wedding breakfast pavilion to the thunderous, electrifying rhythm of Turkish drums, which saw guests on their feet dancing to the celebratory Turkish and Arabic music.
Ali describes excitedly, “As the night continued, we were lifted up on chairs as the Horah dance commanded, bringing out the energy of everyone in the room, which we are sure will remain with everyone for a long time to come. The Horah dancing was followed by the return of the Turkish drummers, who brought the house down to another level.
Our wedding was everything and more than we wanted. The most special day which we thought would never happen to us in our lifetime. Two religions can absolutely work together. You just need to realise that there’s no textbook – you do what you want to do.”
They both proudly tell us that In an online story earlier this year, Attitude Magazine covered their wedding ceremony, while celebrating ten years of marriage equality in the UK and showing how it combined their faiths with the adapting traditions and excluding ones they didn’t agree with. They were then nominated for an Attitude Pride Award, which they won in June 2024. The couple were also featured in Pride in London 2024, which was beautifully led by Christopher Joell-Deshields, and Rock My Wedding!
The couple say, “It’s been a real rollercoaster of a ride with the amount of love and support we received from the readers; the response has just been truly amazing. Some horrible comments, but we can’t please everybody.
“We’ve had some readers reach out to us, some Muslim and some Jewish, and it’s been such an honour to be trusted with their stories and give hope and support in some way. We both decided to go public with our story because, as you’ve read, we have faced our own challenges. Our story has given us and our families the strength to come together and celebrate what connects us.
“Coming from a Palestinian / Turkish background and being a Muslim and coming from a Jewish background, we wanted to share our story to help people in a similar situation to give hope that they too could find acceptance within their life and acceptance within their family and community.
“We have a responsibility to continue to support each other. We have got to stick together and continue to fight for acceptance and existence, and we hope that our marriage shows that love, not hate, is always the answer.
We cannot believe that it is 2025, and we are still talking about acceptance within the LGBTQ community. We are all human, and we should be who we want to be and live our best lives free from judgement, abuse or violence.
You can be proud of every side of who you are. Between the ages of 18 and 21, Adam felt that he had to choose between his religion and his sexuality.
“You will never be happy if you don’t believe in yourself, even if that means detaching yourself from those who don’t support you. Being dependent on people who do not support you will affect your mental health and stop you from becoming the best version of yourself. Once you believe in yourself, everything good will come after.”
Ali and Adam would love to continue to share, help and encourage others to live their best life and are currently lined up to speak at events and share their experiences and life challenges. Please do reach out to them if you would like them to attend your next event – Instagram page ‘husbands_ali_adam’.
All images supplied.
Wedding Photos: https://www.instagram.com/bekiyoungphotography/
Feature Sponsor: Proud Fox Ceremonies
