This weekend saw the queers out in full force celebrating a weekend of being able to wear as little as they want, and getting away with it [insert Mean Girls reference here]. We love a costume here at QX, but there’s one phenomenon that always gets under our damn skin. Goddamn couple costumes!
WE GET IT, you’re in a relationship and you’re happy. In the words of the late Jade Goody yelling on Big Brother, “GOOD FOR YOU”. There’s no need to shove how adorable you are down our throats.
To keep our rage levels to a minimum, we’ve decided to collect a couple costumes that all couples should avoid like the plague. Here they are:
Batman and Robin
“Holy done-to-death, Batman!” We get it, their dom/sub chemistry was quite hot back in the day, but now it’s just getting old; confining yourself to just one sexual role is like, SO 2017. Also, Batman and Robin…it’s just so OBVIOUS. Dress as Team Rocket instead. Now THERE’S a power couple.
Mario and Luigi
Bert and Ernie
Right, British gays. Sesame Street was never part of your childhood; you were raised on Postman Pat and Thomas the Tank Engine. These homo-puppets are nothing to do with you. There’s been so much back and forth on the ‘are they’/’aren’t they’ issue. At the end of the day…WHO CARES. We’re done with the conversation and we certainly don’t want to see you out at The White Swan. Cheesy! Naff!
Buzz and Woody
These should be settings on your vibrator, not your costumes. Apart from anything else, the dynamic is WAY off too, like that couple you know where one of them is really into Charli XCX and the other’s really into Rachmaninoff. This costume is also asking for a squabble. One of you has to put together a whole space suit, and the other just has to throw on some flannel and a pair of jeans.
