Gran Canaria Pride 2014

Having been four years since our last trip to GC Pride, the island of broken hearts and damaged holes was long overdue a return visit. For those of you that haven’t been before, the Yumbo Centre is basically G-A-Y on heat… It’s a feckin’ riot. So we wondered how much things had changed since we last went mincing around Maspalomas in little more than a Snapback.   


Welcome Pool Party – Sunday

AxelBeach Hotel, Avenida de Tirajana, 32, Playa del Ingles, 35100


What’s the saying, “the calm before the storm”? Well, this was exactly that. The early birds of Pride week – including us – had turned up for a spot of sunbathing and to ease ourselves, and our livers, into a week of craziness. The official host of the pool parties during Pride week had been altered for the first time this year, but AxelBeach proved much more spacious, and accommodating for even bigger DJs (and even more potential holiday romances).


Pink Party – Tuesday

AxelBeach Hotel, Avenida de Tirajana, 32, Playa del Ingles, 35100

There’s always that worry on Tuesday in Gran Canaria; which queen is gonna be wearing the same pink speedos as me? Fortunately we escaped that fashion faux pas this year, although some sisters didn’t… *giggles and tosses hair*.

London’s Sam DMS played a banging set that had the crowd really indulging in the commercial house he was dropping – and those go-go boys were two-stepping like there was no tomorrow. The highlight was when some raggedy Anne try step ‘pon de stage and got turfed off by security. *Giggles again*


Men’s Pool Party, Mr. Gran Canaria– Wednesday

AxelBeach Hotel, Avenida de Tirajana, 32, Playa del Ingles, 35100

It was the busiest we’d seen the hotel since we arrived, and what with the Island’s infamous ‘sexiest male’ competition, the grass was lined with the cast of a D&G ad. Or what easily could have been, *adjusts speedos*.

The contestants took to the stage, while we took another boy to the toilets (only to use the cigarette machine, obvs), and damn there was more talent on that stage than Mollys Moggs on a Friday. The boys had to dance – obviously those with two left feet were asked to shuffle to left of the stage, while other contestants sang. We remember when all a guy needed was a six pack and a padded pair of speedos to get through to the next round, now they’re after talent too! They’d narrowed the semi-finals down to some very tasty men that would go through to the final on Saturday when the winner would be announced. We have to admit we were rooting for the Mark Wright look-a-like…


Wet ’n’ White Party – Thursday

Amadores Beach Club

Despite having to get a *gulp* coach to the beautiful surroundings of Amadores, when we arrived we’d forgotten all trauma of foreign public transport. The luxurious setting was something pulled straight from a bouji beach club in Marbella – and so were some of the chiseled guys around the bar. In our stretchy/slutty sailor outfits we did a lap of the pool and took in the views – and we ain’t talking scenery, honey. Sharon-O-Love warmed up the crowd with some iconic vocal house, before Angie Brown dropped some retro vocals, and a quartet of ferocious drag queens put on a show which left the audience members looking like they’d been raped by glitter bombs (don’t worry they hadn’t). Now everyone’s tanned bodies and white assembles had a shimmer of gold. Just when you thought fags in see-through swimsuits wasn’t gay enough… Pagano finished the party, and after one amazing day, we were truly wiped out.


The Parade – Saturday

After a particularly heavy night on Friday, getting up and ready on the main day was harder than teaching Joey Essex to speak Chinese. This year we were representing the Beach Boys Resort on the top deck of their float. The music was pumping and the atmosphere was entirely electric. From the top of the float there was so many beautiful sites to be seen, and this time we’re not talking about the boys; two happy fathers holding hands with their two adorable young children watching the parade was probably the most memorable, and it reminded us what Pride was really about. The creativity that went in to some people’s outfits was out of this world and with the streets awash with colour and happy faces, it felt like a true celebration. This all sounds a little ‘after school special’ so we should probably state that by the time the float stopped we were a hotter mess than Paris Hilton circa 2006.