Pop Horror’s PopTrumps

To get you ready for PopHorror’s 90’s Pop Special “I Spit in Your Rave” we have asked promoter and DJ Paul Joseph to help us prepare these handy Top Trump style cards – they’ll help you work out how the top Pop Divas of the 90s would fare in a horror movie.

 


Mariah Carey

Special Powers: Disarming someone by claiming she doesn’t know them.
Weakness: Stairs
Fight Song: “Heartbreaker” – with an axe
Fear Factor: You wouldn’t want to say ‘Mariah’ five times in front of a mirror…
Survivability: Like a cockroach after a nuclear holocaust. She ain’t going nowhere.

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Madonna

Special Powers: Squats – means she can dodge any axe/knife/chainsaw
Weakness: Acting.
Fight Song: “Deeper and Deeper “– like a knife in your guts.
Fear Factor: Terrifying.
Survivability: Immortal. More successful comebacks than Jason Voorhees.

 


Kylie

Special Powers: Allure. Or is that her latest perfume?
Weakness: Hot men
Fight Song: “Confide In Me” – then you’re trapped.
Fear Factor: Pitiful – way too cute and smiley.
Survivability: Fragile but enduring, will always come back ‘cos she’s our little Aussie boomerang.

 


Britney Spears

Special Powers: Hair removal
Weakness: Auto-tune
Fight Song: “(You Drive Me) Crazy” – and we know what that can lead to.
Fear Factor: Pretty harmless, though prone to violent outbursts
Survivability: Always teetering on the edge but never seems to fall.

 


Geri Halliwell

Special Powers:  Girl Power – aka a cheeky wink and bit of bum pinching
Weakness: Singing.
90s Fight Song: “Stop” – or I’ll sing at you.
Fear Factor: More Ginger than Scary – but you wouldn’t want to be sat next to her on a plane.
Survivability: She’s tough and will always be around in some form or other – like the common cold.

 


• Pop Horror: I Spit On Your Rave, is on Wednesday 24th August at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY. 7pm – midnight. £5 OTD, £4 adv.

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