The gay movie musical that’s really being slept on.

From a bald snotty Anne Hathaway in Les Miserable to a sultry Christine Baranski ogling at greek men in Mamma Mia, we love a movie musical. Heading over to the West End is a hassle and can get quite goddamn expensive. Why pay £60 to sit up the rafters next to a stranger watching a Patti LuPone-ish blur sing ‘Ladies who Lunch’ when you can be curled up in bed with a glass of merlot watching Johnny Depp singing about slitting throats. When you’ve reached the end of the very limited musical selection on your Uncle Al’s Netflix account, maybe it’s time to brand out.

Just when you thought you couldn’t get any gayer than a night of binge-watching musicals, we bring to you… the gay musical. Hello, Dolly! is nice but it could do with a lot more gay kissing and topless men. Bringing you all of that, with a dash of Shakespeare is Were the World Mine. It made quite the splash on the scene upon being released over a decade ago, but we think it’s time it made a comeback in a major way.

Jonathan (Nathaniel David Becker) and Timothy (Tanner Cohen)

This retelling of A Midsummer Night’s Dream follows Timothy, a queer private school boy who’s faced constant harassment from those pesky rugby boys. Things aren’t any easier at home with his over-worked mother struggling to come to terms with her son’s sexuality, and the fact that her husband left because of it. Sounds a laugh a minute, right? Well, it all changes when he’s cast in the school’s musical production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and happens across a recipe for a flower that can cause people to fall in love. Of course, the first thing he does is get all the rugby boys snogging, and we don’t blame him. Well actually, if we were him we’d have them all fall in love with us and have some sort of group arrangement. Each to their own, we suppose.

Stringing together all that pent up teenage sexual frustration and youthful longing, threading it to create an intoxicating world of face glitter and foliage, you have us SOLD. Having watched it in our teenagehood we spent every waking moment dreaming of a flower that could get that one guy to fall in love with us. It’s pure, unbridled horny fantasy but done right. Getting all he wished for (as is often the case) wasn’t what that Timothy had hoped it’d be. We’re just glad to be on this ride with him, plus he’s super cute.

We hereby announce our campaign to have this movie make a comeback among the gays, just like 2018 Cher. The sombre yet romantic soundtrack is up there with Sufjan Stevens’ music for Call Me By Your Name. Just listen to this abolutely adorable audition number:

Despite having its problems, from the all-white cast to some cringey performances, it’s still a queer classic that the gay teens of today need to see. It got a lot of its audience through their school days, and it’s time a second generation got to enjoy it.

by Ifan Llewelyn

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