10/12/10: Whether due to too much snow on the runway or not enough on the Puerto Rican boy-du-jour’s smooth buttocks, Pam Ann’s absence from the London cabaret scene has been far too long, but that was remedied last weekend as her own personal A380 (with wing tips) touched down on Clapham Common and delivered her to the door of the Two Brewers with a hefty trunk of brand spanking new material. The screen lit up with an all-new animated safety video highlighting everything NOT to do in the event of a ‘landing’ on water before the lamé curtail parted and the queen of the skies, resplendent in couture uniform (no Julien Macdonald tat for this bitch!) sashayed down the aisle insulting the economy passengers as she went. An hour of ad-lib, chat and story-telling later, with several meanderings and tangents to be avoided, led to every trolley dolly’s preferred CSD plucking two randoms from the audience and subjecting them to a TSA-style ‘Person Of Interest or Interesting Person’ scrutiny that descended into an Easyjet naked romp on the floor. Need a lay down in a dark room to recover, we were then treated to an installment of ‘Pam at the movies’ featuring Superman, the Exorcist and followed by the traditional ‘New York to LA’ finale. Fan-bloody-tastic.
Less than an hour later, part 2 of the cabaret extravaganza featured the brilliant Masquerade (Titti, Nicky and Millie) with their lip-perfect Disney-Abba-Gaga show, and they’ll be back there this week on Thursday 16th with their Christmas special.
114 Clapham High Street, SW4.
Words and photos by Chris Jepson
