30/06/12: What does a crowd of about 300 strong men do when a line-up of four sashay on stage from the wings in sequined sailor-boy suits?
Well, if it’s the main floor of super club Heaven we all crack out the iPhones, spring seismic smiles and swing our shoulders along with them; ‘them’ naturally being the Showbears, of Britain’s Got Talent fame. To the sound of a military drum-roll, the glittering, beer-gut boys of the cabaret world rocked up before us all, to rally good spirits and a weekend sing-along!
It all began with a medley of hits, with (unashamedly) punchy pop gold including Village People’s ‘In The Navy’ and the Pet Shop Boy’s ‘Go West’. Then, amidst all the multi layered harmonies and twee routines, rang out the first strains of a very blokish sounding – and quickly showing itself to be a far from very blokish looking – rendition of Kylie numbers, with hits such as ‘Better The Devil You Know’, ‘Your Disco Needs You’, ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’ and ‘All The Lovers’, admittedly finding more than a few easily-taken fans in the gathered mass.
‘There’s Nothing Like A Dame’ was the last belter before, from stage-right, out strutted special guest and the comic sensation that brought us Little Britain (otherwise known fondly as the campest heterosexual this side of the River Tyne) – David Walliams. Kitted in his own sparkling navy-wear to boot, Walliams wielded a boarish singing voice into his mic along with the best of them, while working his hips, for a filthy reworking of ‘It’s Raining Men’.
After the cacophony died down, and he’d wished us boys all the best in finding ‘a chubby cock’ by the end of the night, the legend and his men were on their way – the gathered giggled their last, pouted the lips and re-assumed the piercing bedroom eyes and dissipated into all four dance arenas once again.
Heaven, Villiers Street, WC2N 6NG
Words by Yafeu Brown
Photos by Chris Jepson
