The post-Pride hangover can be a doozey, so here’s your guide to getting through it
The day after Pride is very much the queer Boxing Day. You wake up having overindulged the night before, surrounded by brightly coloured tat that’s ominously meaningless now the big day has been and gone. Unlike Boxing day, you definitely don’t want to spend the day rotting in front of the television chowing down on left-overs while your nan goes on about her admiration for Farage. This gay boxing day you’re going to want to head out and make the most of the Pride comedown, so here’s your guide to getting through that day after the big day.
First of all, you need to figure out where you’ve woken up. If you’re in your own bed, good for you Mother Theresa but not all of us can exercise your impressive self-restraint. For most of us, crusty eyes open to the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling before engaging in a panicked look around the room to figure out who the guy you’ve woken up next to is. The Pride hook-up is notoriously unpredictable ranging from bumping into the guy you’ve been chatting to on Tinder, to some out-of-towner who’s gagging to drag someone back to his hotel room. It’s important that you get yourself up and out of there as soon as possible because Pride has a way of getting you feeling particularly loved-up and before you know it you’re asking the bad shag from the night before to be your boyfriend. But before you head out, maybe give your hook up a poke to make sure he is in fact just sleeping and not… you know.
Now you’re out in the harsh light of a Sunday morning, you soon realise that you’re in your pride outfit or, perhaps more appropriately, your Pride non-outfit. Tiny shorts and a shoe-string rainbow vest might have made you the toast of Soho Square the day before, but they sure aren’t your Sunday best. If you don’t quite feel like running home to change, then running into a GAP to grab a hoody will have to do. Nothing feels better than an oversized hoody when you’re insides feel like they’re trying to escape from your mouth and your brain’s trying to escape through your forehead. Next up on the agenda is FOOD.
Returning to the scene of the crime might feel like a bad idea, but heading back for some brunch in Soho can be very cathartic. You can walk past street corners and reminisce “Oh, so that’s where I was throwing up last night”. A tall glass of dog hair with a side of over-priced eggs will have you feeling half-human again, and give you the chance to sit back and maybe shoot off a few texts some friends letting them know you’re not floating face-down along the Thames. Hopes are that they are also in a zombie-like state, haunting a similar brunch joint, and you can join forces. Misery loves company, therefore hangovers are best endured in packs. With a full day ahead of you, it’s time to head somewhere to do something. Thankfully, the day after Pride a glorious celebration is popping off in Haggerston Park celebrating LGBTQ people of African, Asian, Caribbean, Middle Eastern and Latin American descent.
UK Black Pride is a fantastic day celebrating racial diversity within the LGBTQ community, and they always serve up those funky Afro beats that are perfect for sweating out those toxins. Hop up on the Overground, pop into a corner shop for a few tinnies, and sit back in the sun to celebrate black queer culture through killer performances and a few contemplative poetry readings. There’s also no better way of appreciating the array of cultures than tucking into a fat helping of food from their food stalls.
When you finally traipse your way back home, dragging your now lifeless corpse into the white cushioned nest of your bed, you’re sure to give yourself over to that deep sleep that only happens after your body’s had a good battering. Pride might be over for another year, but if you’ve done it properly then you’ll be glad that there are another 264 days until the next one.
