26/04/14: Eastbloc pulled the bloc outta our cocks and greased up our lug nuts with BlocHeads, their Saturday night hub-bub in the dark underworld throbbing ‘neath Old Sreet.
DJ Andrew Moore kicked off the night in the Main Room followed by the award-winning Smokin Jo’ turning things positively tribal as she thumped up the bass with such fierceness you’d think the whole damn building was gonna bounce down the street!
Tom Stephan’s rippling rhythms had us shucking our brawny shoulders til headliner pretty boy Paul Heron put those big biceps of his to work pushing hard, hard, dirty beats from way down there that had models Christian and Greg flexing their tattoos under their couture mesh shirts.
The music swirled to such a crescendo it prompted club kid Mateos to shout, “I may look like a li’l boy, but I’m pure VOLTAGE!”
The Macho Sluts room was of course dominated by the suitably mucho macho slut Ursula Snakes re-twerkin sexy hits into “darker, edgier, sexier” tunes that were downright sinister. Ollywwod brightened up the cave with his own mix of pop and techno, but if we thought this was gonna be a skip in the park we were dead wrong.
Who crept out of the black but none other than the DJ of darkness himself Ray Noir. Tribal was the beat of the night and raw beef sizzled on the grill as Mr. Noir had us trippin back balls deep in the funk prompting Mimis Kormas to exclaim: “It’s not like a club. It’s like a house party!”
East Bloc, 217 City Road, Shoreditch, EC1V 1JN
Words by Tom Redkid
Photos by Mark Storey
