Jason Reid goes behind the scenes of London’s first ever DRAG ROAST, brought to you by QX, Terrence Higgins Trust and the legendary RVT! Starring the ‘Whore of Hampstead Heath’, Sandra, who will be getting royally roasted by her pals Titti La Camp, Lola Lasagne and Dave Lynn. Hosted by Myra DuBois, it’s going to be one helluva evening of cutting barbs and cussing queens! Plus, it’s all for charity with 100% of ticket sales going to THT. Don’t miss it!
SANDRA
The Roastee
I’m renowned for being an absolute slag so I know they’ll be telling stories about my cock-sucking adventures on Hampstead Heath. I told them all: “Go for it, I’ve got nothing to hide. I live my life as an open book.” I have no secrets at all, so I’m not that worried really. What can they say that people don’t already know? And I can’t wait to have my go back on them, as I know plenty of things about them all. I can play dirty too [laughs] but it’ll all be in good jest of course, and raising lots of money for THT along the way. I can’t wait. They did a run of roasts in Brighton and they were very successful, so I hope mine is the first of many here in London, too.
MYRA DUBOIS
The Host
My official role for the evening is ‘host’ but I imagine I’ll be more of a ‘referee’. A neutral voice throughout the evening, making sure everyone gets their turn on Sandra. Titti La Camp told me a cracking story about Sandra involving Hampstead Heath, a car and the police. I hope she tells it at the roast!
LOLA LASAGNE
Roaster
The secret of a good comedy roast is to remember that it’s not ‘This Is Your Life’. And the nice funny stories by some can be balanced out by others being absolutely vile. So I could tell you about the time Sandra and I caught each other cottaging on the Embankment. Or the time when two queens won dinner for two in a game show hosted by Jeremy Joseph. The only problem was that the dinner was on stage at The Royal Oak, Hammersmith, whilst Sandra and Lucia were performing. But I don’t do nice funny stories [laughs]. See you at the RVT!
DAVE LYNN
Roaster
Having known Sandra for umpteen years I intend to talk about her wonderful contribution, shall we say, to the London tourist ‘trade’. Would Hampstead Heath be as famous without her? Also, the time we both appeared on the Vanessa Feltz show with our parents. We were all there on time except Sandra who missed the train, but as always, got the trade.
TITTI LA CAMP
Roaster
The only problem I see on the night will be having to leave out tales from over the years because there are so many to share. She never fails to surprise me; the persona she is on stage is the real Sandra. She really is a dirty cock-sucking whore like no other. She was famously up on Hampstead Heath the night of the great storm in 1987 with trees uprooting and crashing around her. Another stormy night she asked me to pull into the car park, even though the rain was unremitting and we were clearly the only ones there. Just as I was pulling away she screamed: “Stop the car”, as she had spotted an elderly pensioner emerge from the bushes, wearing NOTHING but a soaked cardigan. “I’ll only be a second, girl,” she said, as she flung open the car door and ran over to him in the pouring rain to give him some ‘Sandra Care’. That’s Sandra, totally indiscriminate when it comes to satisfying her needs.
• The Drag Roast is at The RVT (372 Kennington Lane, Vauxhall, SE11 5HY) on Thursday 11th October, Doors 7pm, Show 8:30pm, Tickets £10 all of which will go direct to Terrence Higgins Trust, www.rvt.org.uk/event/drag-roast
