Homostash is celebrating Eurovision, hairy-lip-style, with a big old knees-up down at Dalston Superstore this Friday 13th May. They’ll be playing Euro delights upstairs and their signature fit techno downstairs with Brazil’s Paulo Tessuto. To get you in the mood, moustachioed maestro Tafkanik and Eurovision maven-cum-DJ Eureka are taking us through this year’s contestants. DOUZE POINTS.
Tafkanik: Hi Eureka, I am happy to see you again, at long last!
Eureka: I’m thrilled to see my favourite moustachioed man! I was on a Eurovision binge and lost track of time. But I’m back and ready for this year’s season of Euro-drama in Stockholm!
Tafkanik: I know you’ve worked for the contest in the past. Are you again involved this year?
Eureka: Yes indeed, in fact this year is my twelfth Eurovision!
Tafkanik: You beat me, I only did five. By the way when did your Eurovision journey begin?
Eureka: I remember as if it was yesterday. 1994, Poland entered the contest for the first time. I was blown away.
Tafkanik: And what is your favourite Eurovision related moment?
Eureka: It must be when you introduced me to Conchita Wurst at the gig you organised at Larry Tee’s party in East Bloc. It was a night I will never forget, until this day everyone says we look like sisters!
Tafkanik: Indeed, you both have the talent, charisma and looks. But tell me who are your favourites this year?
Eureka: Mine is Armenia and my glamorous sis Iveta Mukuchyan with her “LoveWave” entry which is so powerful that it is actually a love tsunami. She is hot as fuck, has the voice and the staging is just on point – gurl, she will slay.
Tafkanik: Well unless the Ukrainian singer Jamala does not get in her way! She has the most challenging song this year. “1944” is a personal story about Jamala’s grandmother who was a Crimean Tatar and was deported to Siberia by the Soviet army. It caused a lot of political controversy already. I guess Russia did not approve.
Eureka: Yes, according to bookies Jamala is catching up quickly and is currently the second favourite to win. However Russia’s Sergey Lazarev is number one. They are really aiming for victory with a jaw dropping LED driven performance. The staging is explosive and futuristic. We both remember last years’ winner Mans Zelmerlow and how fresh his performance was. This one is one step ahead.
Tafkanik: Russia is definitely spending the roubles on it and tries to create a gay friendly image with sexy hunk Sergey. I am not buying it though. By the way are there any other hunks you fancy this year?
Eureka: Freddie from Hungary, no brainer. He is the unquestionable winner of the Mr Eurovision fanbase polls across Europe!
Tafkanik: He will definitely do well with his catchy song and his sexy raspy voice. I can see people picking up their phones to vote!
Eureka: And there is also Amir from France, his charm and gorgeous voice will melt many peoples’ hearts! He is also third in the betting odds but his rehearsals have slightly disappointed. Just like Croatia’s Nina Kralijc who was among bookies’ favourites for many weeks until the first live rehearsal after which her odds have been drifting. It almost feels that Nina and her team do everything in order not to even qualify for the final! She will be wearing a kimono that looks like a tent which gets ripped of half way through to reveal a ‘Las Vegas show girl dressed as a peacock who had a fight with a fan’.
Tafkanik: Well, somebody has to win the Barbara Dex award for the worst dressed act in the end. But sometimes less is more.
Eureka: You mean Ivan from Belarus? There was a rumour that he would be going commando during his song ‘How to Fly’ and you know much I would commend that. Still the producers did not allow it but he will manage to bypass it on the night in a clever way.
Tafkanik: He is definitely one of the positive surprises after the rehearsals just as Belgium’s Laura Tessoro who is singing a bombastic disco number ‘What’s the Pressure?’. The 19 year old has a great stage presence and a sleek dance routine that will surely get everyone off their couch during her performance.
Eureka: Someone has just stepped into fabulous. But then not everyone’s performance is as sleek as hers! I have a feeling that Spain’s Barei might trip and fall.
Tafkanik: Somebody is giving us a spoiler! I “say yay” to Barei, her song is fun and I would have nothing against the Eurovision somewhere warm next year.
Eureka: Indeed, Bulgaria could be another sunny destination. Poli Genova is back after a failed attempt in 2011. And she comes back fierce!
Tafkanik: Her track ‘If Love Was A Crime’ is a modern pop song with Bulgarian folk elements and a reference to LGBT rights.
Eureka: Eurovision is a celebration of LGBT people and it’s great that every year there are some performers from our community like this year’s representatives from Poland and Israel. Michal Szpak and Hovi Star stand out both by their androgynous looks and both have one the best vocals in the competition.
Tafkanik: We also can not forget to mention some big names this year. Nicky Byrne from Westlife who will sing ‘Sunlight’. How do you evaluate his chances?
Eureka: Obviously Westlife has a massive fanbase and he can rely on that, having years of stage experience will definitely play in his favour.
Tafkanik: Many Eurovision journalists have pointed out that despite his experience he might be left behind by much more inexperienced artists such as our very own Joe and Jake representing the UK. They have not yet released a record and their only TV experience is from the Voice UK. But their song ‘You’re not alone’ is performed in a very endearing way and reminds of Coldplay in a good way.
Eureka: The cherry on the cake will be Justin Timberlake though! And no he is not competing but he will perform his brand-new hit single ‘Can’t Stop the Feeling’ for the first time live. That will be surely one of the highlights.
Tafkanik: Luckily for the other contestants he is not competing! It will be a great spectacle on the 14th of May but can we see you and hear the songs anywhere before the final?
Eureka: Oh yes, I will be back from Stockholm for one night only especially to DJ and host the upcoming HOMOSTASH party in Dalston Superstore this very Friday! It will be the perfect place to get into the Eurovision groove. I might even give a performance myself. I promise I will not disappoint my fans!
Tafkanik: I can’t wait, see you at HOMOSTASH!
• Homostash: European Edition is on Friday 13th May at Dalston Superstore (117 Kingsland High Street, E8 2PB), 9pm – 3am.
