I’m currently on a flight to my next show. I’m wearing a grey hoodie with detachable bunny ears and star-shaped zips. Frost Children is playing in my ears, and I’m looking up to the first-class seats, wondering how much money someone has to earn for a 1k flight to feel like nothing. Do you need to have nepotism or be ruthless to climb the corporate ladder like that? I used to struggle to ask people booking me for an extra $200 to cover flights only a couple of years ago. Now I live in this space where I just have to ask for things, the worst they can say is no, and I’ve made myself busy enough not to notice a missed reply. And that isn’t my only step towards an unapologetic, audacious pop star.
I used to shrink myself down; I wasn’t sure if the version of myself I am today would ever exist. I still did theatre and was pretty loud, but that was the smallest version of me I had available to me. I was so scared to take up space. I thought being gay and asian was already conflict enough, so I taught myself to ease up on my opinions and disagree less. Some part of it was really healthy; I’m less bothered by things that don’t matter, but personally, I’m still trying to work out which parts of me are the true me and which is the “chiller” persona I taught myself. I used to hear “But you’re not that gay” “I like how you don’t make being gay your whole personality”. Wait until they see what I did with my career.
Safe to say I made Robert Baxter the gayest most audacious show-stopping never been done before not afraid to reference or not to reference type star this country has ever seen. I’m not talking about wearing rainbows, I’m not talking about fitting into the stereotypes that were projected onto us, I’m talking about telling honest stories from my perspective, I’m talking about becoming the pop star I’ve always dreamed of.
I had a new friend say, “When you get up there, you’re not just doing that for you, you’re doing that for us.”And it sort of clicked. I’m creating this superhero version of myself, where I can be everything I want to be. Joining ballroom also awakened something in me, my stage presence, essence and style are fed a lot by that, as well as the love of being surrounded by community. I learnt to compete and battle and to leave it on the floor, I’m not taking it home with me when I lose.
This new song, KITTY CAT, encapsulates all of that. People have been asking me for a song like this for years, but I wasn’t ready. I’m not going to do a cocky track until I can say it with my chest, and I didn’t want to ask someone who’s not in ballroom to make a ballroom beat for me; I built the skills to do it myself. There are so many people who want a piece of this culture and don’t do it right; I’m really proud to represent it.
KITTY CAT is proclaiming that being tamed is not what I want (shout out Miley Cyrus). Felines purr to express their feelings, and I want emotions so big I purr. To be normal is to be stagnant, to be conforming. To be expressive is to be wild, to be free.
My best friend was having this chat with her dad, (he used to pick us up from the club and hear me complain about everyone being straight, and more recently, he was in the audience when I filmed Spicks and Specks and when I opened for G Flip. He’s been on the journey.) He said, “Isn’t it funny to think back to when Robert was going to be a dance teacher in the country forever, and now he’s doing this. He’s too good for this place.” My own dad texted me the other day and said, “I love your life, Beautiful Boy” (capitalised because that’s his official nickname for me) “, Don’t put too much pressure on, you are already more than enough”.
Of course, there are a lot of people who say bad things, but I choose to focus on moments like those. Anyone who doubts me is projecting their insecurities onto me, and I reject that. 13-year-old me would be obsessed with current me, and that’s a life well spent.
Stream KITTY CAT here: https://ascent.ffm.to/kittycat
More about Robert Baxter
Robert Baxter is a nonbinary Taiwanese/Australian pop artist, model and influencer based in Naarm/Melbourne. Drawing on a rich background in dance, modelling and theatre, their creative practice is unafraid to explore vulnerability, desire and humour in equal measure, sitting comfortably in the tension between the serious and the playful.
Emerging from a desire to visually and sonically represent their community, Robert Baxter has evolved from creating beats in their rural hometown to becoming a captivating presence in Naarm/Melbourne’s music scene. With over 1 million combined streams, sold-out headline shows, and recent performances at SXSW Sydney, Heaps Gay Mardi Gras, Midsumma and Victoria’s Pride, Robert has made it clear they are one of Australia’s most exciting and dynamic queer voices.
First emerging with their debut album, you wouldn’t expect Cupid to cry in April 2024 and STARGIRL singles ‘SUSPICIOUS’ and ‘CAMBOY’, Robert’s diverse catalogue, striking visuals, and multidisciplinary practice position them as an artist proudly building spaces for community while carving out their own dazzling lane in Australian pop.
All images supplied.
