Last year, I did something I swore I would never do – I moved home to Belfast. My reasons: being a bit closer to family, and I had spent the last year writing a queer coming-of-age story set there and knew I would be writing more. It felt like time.
Like many baby queers, I dreamed of escaping my home town as soon as I could. Belfast has always been a welcoming place in so many ways, but alongside its turbulent political history, the fight for LGBTQ+ rights felt far behind the queer utopias I was watching in London and Manchester as a teen.
Homosexuality was only decriminalised in Northern Ireland in 1982. Section 28 didn’t extend to here, but we didn’t need it. There was no fear of the promotion of LGBTQ+ lifestyles in the faith schools. It might not all have been fire and brimstone, but the teachings were clear – at best, we were meant not to exist, at worst, we shouldn’t.
We did exist, though, of course. A gay neighbourhood was becoming well established by the time I was a teenager and able to try and start sneaking into them. Also, I was in a youth theatre, so by the age of 15, I had a group of gay friends. I had what was needed – a safe place, a community. It was a secret though; I told nobody at my all-male Christian Brother school (despite everyone assuming I was and calling me the appropriate gay slurs to corroborate), and even as a young adult, I was always looking over my shoulder at the group of lads as I darted down the street where the only places open were the gay bars.
Does that make Belfast a homophobic place? It was no more or no less than any city at the time. I think what compounded it here was that a hangover of the Troubles was an inbuilt, inherited feeling of unease on some streets of the city. I was brought up knowing there were certain places that would not be safe for me to be, so you throw being gay on top of that, and my default state was fear.
At the same time, amid everything negative that you could say, Belfast has always been an incredible place. Full of art, culture and friendly, welcoming people. The shouting of politicians and faith leaders was at odds with a community that had seen enough hate to not want to further exclude.
I left, though. I wanted to live in a city in which my shoulders could drop – in which my sexuality was neither a threat nor particularly extraordinary. Between London and Margate, I learned the need for queer community and spaces, as well as a culture that actively tries to protect the rights of all minority groups – a responsibility that so few people in power are currently taking.
There is another reason I moved back home, and that is simply because it is just that. All the aspects of the culture I wanted to run away from are part of what makes me who I am. When I started writing, it was stories of this town that came to the surface. I wanted to explore the joys, challenges and even the unhealed wounds that many of us carry here. The Last Death Poet is a queer coming-of-age story about a teen who has the power to see the past in the hope that it can help those suffering around him. It is my love letter to my home town, and I hope it is a window into the queer experience here for young people who may still be struggling to find their own community.
Belfast has changed. We have a thriving gay scene here, we have bars, cafes and a bookshop (Paperxclips – my second home), we have activists and artists telling their stories and I am proud to be here with one of the first traditionally published queer young adult stories. We need those stories more than ever, as the voices that want us to disappear are just as loud as they ever were.
Stephen Daly is an author and photographer from Belfast. With a background in theatre, Stephen knows that storytelling is the best way to reflect the complexities of life. The Last Death Poet has personal resonance; Stephen grew up as a queer young man during the Troubles and left the country at eighteen to try to be himself. He believes it’s time to tell more queer Irish stories.
The Last Death Poet is Stephen’s debut YA novel, published by Rock the Boat, and it’s OUT NOW! An LGBTQ+ coming-of-age novel set in Belfast with a paranormal twist.
