Get off Grindr! Press mute on FKA Twigs! Hit pause on episode 2 of Scream Queens! Kick Smiley Vyrus off your sofa! Sit down, pay attention, and LISTEN, because this is important. Total. Fucking. Silence. Ready? Right. Ok. Good.
The Glory are doing something important. Remember Important Things? They used to happen before the world was full of headlines like YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS CAT’S REACTION WHEN IT SEES RITA ORA’S TITS
The tits, hips, lips East London boy-busting boozer is hosting a charity event in aid of the refugee crisis. Yes, refugees. Not “marauders” or “invaders” or “parasites”. Human beings, desperate for safety. People who want to make their lives better. The British government have agreed to help a BIT now, but not enough. There are hundreds of warehouses in East London, for example, that could house thousands of refugees. And they’re all empty! Well, practically empty. Apart from a few art students on comedowns and a cat or two.
The event is called Glory Aid, and will see a mincing melange of philanthropic performers, including Myra DuBois, who’s like your craziest aunt with a stinking hangover, and Jayde Adams whose props include plastic roses and an inhaler. There will also of course be the usual Glory shit show; that Jonny Woo promenading and pontificating; that John Sizzle flipping his hair and grinning; that Holestar refusing to let you nip out for a fag; that A Man To Pet swinging off the light fittings with a butt plug up his bum; that Ginger Johnson throwing herself over the bar. We could go on. But we won’t.
Anyway, there’s a £10 per person donation and all proceeds go to MOAS (Migrants Offshore Aid Station), CalAid and Refugee Action. So show some humanity. Show some love. Show some compassion. Show your arse, if you like. It’s GLORY AID 2015!
• Glory Aid is on Thursday 8th October at The Glory, (281 Kingsland Road, E2 8AS), doors 5pm, shows from 7pm. £10 donation on the door.