Our features editor Dylan Jones reports LIVE (well, two weeks later), from the red carpet at the Prowler Porn Awards!
Last week London’s gay glitterati wolfed down their smashed avocado on artisan bread, sprayed on their Bang by Marc Jacobs, stuffed their inside pockets with sachets of lube, and jumped in Ubers down to THE gay porn industry event of the season.
The Prowler Porn Awards! There was a red carpet. There were porn stars. There were paparazzi. There were drag queens. There were celebrities. It was a salubriously salacious melting pot of wonderfully seedy 90’s urban glamour. Like, Carrie Bradshaw WISHES. She wouldn’t have been invited. Samantha would have been invited and taken Lucy Liu as her plus one.
My plus one was East London drag queen and political purveyor of perviness, The Nightbus! She wore vintage peep-toe heels by New Look (Your Feet Look Gorgeous label), a wig by Vanessa Feltz and brown clutch from Vivienne Westwood’s Diglett range. She splits her time between Chicken Cottage and Swiss Cottage, and has performed on stage at The Glory as Winifred from Hocus Pocus.
We were also joined by an off-duty Gina Gee. Gina is a Hampstead lady of the night. When she’s not knocking back champagne at The Ivy or jetting off to Thailand, she provides a visual rollercoaster for the twinks of Old Compton Street with her provocative dress sense and cunty disposition. The night of the awards though, she was sans drag, identifiable only by her pair of rather camp rainbow Louboutins.
Inside, we bumped into Kayden Gray, who’s got a winning smile and ten inch penis. He was nominated for Best Top! Kayden is the star of such iconic works as Daddy’s Orgy, Cruised #2 and Pumped. He’s also rather famous in my browser history. What an accolade! He went on to win it later in the evening. I can’t attest to his talents myself, but he lives in London so it’s only a matter of time.
I also had a nice chat with lovely Luke Tyler, star of Europorn Studios. He’s gorgeous and soft-spoken, which is always nice! I was going to go to the bar and get a drink with him, then got distracted when I bumped into the lilac-hued hurricane that is Virginia Wright! She’s like Adore Delano on acid. Just take a second to imagine that.
After my stint on stage, I was whisked swiftly into the evening’s behind-the-scene’s annals by Vanity Von Glow. Internationally ignored and unfashionably late, Vanity’s one of the scene’s most recognisable stars, performing at private members’ clubs and living rooms across London. Now she’s branching out and has her own YouTube channel. She was doing interviews on camera for most of the night, so I popped in and we had a vodka and prattled away to a cameraman for a bit. On the way out I met some Bel Ami boys entering. They were so gorgeous and twinky they almost brought out the top in me! But not quite.
She performed on stage with tattooed slice of gorgeouness Mickey Taylor. And they had dancers who looked like they’d been stolen from Jennifer Lopez’ yacht. Maybe they had been, you never know with Virginia.
After Virginia and Mickey it was time for…ME! I was presenting the award for Best British Website, won by UK Hot Jocks. Well deserved, I say. I had a right blast doing it, and resisted launching into an Emma Thompson-esque drunken speech with my shoes slung over my shoulder.
I air-kissed Miss Pam, who was presiding over the pornographic proceedings. She spent ALL NIGHT on stage, introducing performers, keeping the crowd’s attention, all that jazz. She was great! Personable and wonderful and full of infectious energy. It makes total sense that she’s had so much success in the industry, directing and producing movies. If were getting buggered by an eleven inch cock on camera, she would totally put me at ease. Hey Pam!
I stumbled through the labyrinthine corridors back into the sea of pornstars and promptly bumped into Ben Henry, Buzzfeed’s LGBT correspondant, and Sam Syron, who’s absolutely lovely. Sam alternates between shagging hot boys in trakkies on camera, and selling dildos to tourists.
After that, goodie bags were passed out containing lube and poppers, so the night swiftly descended into anarchy. I vaguely remember slurring something to Rocco Steele about how he’d “solved my daddy issues” (?!), having a dance to Fifth Harmony when nobody else was dancing, and ordering lots of double vodka red bulls.
WHAT A GORGEY EVENING! Silliness aside, it was actually such nice vibes. You could be forgiven for thinking that an awards ceremony for gay porn stars might be a bit posey or judgy, but it was the complete opposite. Everyone was modest, friendly, and, most importantly, knew how to have a good time! And that’s what porn’s all about really isn’t it. It’s just a bit of cheeky fun.
Photos: Joel Ryder
