Cassandra’s Astrology Readings

Salaciously celestial predictions from deep witch Cassandra!


In a brand new QX astrology segment, Cassandra, the oracle of Dalston Kingsland Claire’s Accessories, takes time from her busy schedule of eating salt & vinegar chipsticks and shouting at buses, to give you her astral projections for the week!

Take note of these salaciously celestial predictions – if you play your cosmic cards right, you might wake up on her bedroom floor, clutching a copy of Clueless on DVD.

Aries

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March 21st – April 19th

You are charming, daring and bold, but this week’s Mars astrology transit means your Martian character traits will be subdued under the spell of Venus as it crosses her! Venus, the planet of love, combined with the will of Mars will make you eager to go out on the hunt — no holds barred in the manner of ways in which you will approach guys in the club (if you trust in yourself)! Trust your instincts and inner-warrior, and don’t mind the knock downs— you will have little trouble chatting up those who take your fancy, but choose those that are a good fit for you too (portable twink or very big daddy bear) — you may end up bringing him home on your shoulder like the hunter gatherer you are! If you are a drag queen, you will do well with a look that comprises harsh brows (or none at all) and a full lip, but with earthy nude colours that symbolise the practicality, forward motion and innocence of the Aries native, which are in full swing right now.

Taurus

April 20th – May 20th

Your bullish nature can seem base and animal to some. But this same character trait is what makes you IRRESISTIBLE to others. You have been working hard – perhaps in manual labour or something intellectually demanding – and your physical and mental robustness shows this! Accentuate it with some lovely fitted clothes over your broad physique, which will woo a submissive water sign. You are masculine and protective this week.  Balance your workload with your penchant for the finer things in life such as lovely smells, perfumes and sensuous delights; they will intoxicate your admirer. Though your polarity is astrologically feminine, your outward expression is of an earthy masculinity. Your inner psyche is operating on a feminine vibration — a sensitive water sign will come to you and you will both be weak at the knees for each other!

Gemini

May 21st – June 20th

Gemini as a mutable sign, is endlessly transformative, with many faces. Perhaps look to MADONNA for inspiration, you mistress of reinvention! Are you feeling Like a (half-) Virgin? Or perhaps a Material Girl? Perhaps you are going through a spiritually reborn phase in your life, and wanting to take up yoga or watersports. Is Papa PREACHING to you? Choose a look for each day this week; Mercury in retrograde indicates your reinvention skills need to be exercised and practiced to stimulate your frontal lobes. As a drag queen, you have the amazing ability to look totally different every time by some nebulous painterly and imaginative skill; your face is the canvas you choose to paint upon, mould, augment and display. You are a real illusionist. As simply a guy you can do this too, changing identities at your will; masculine worker, astute businessman, coquettish twink, Australian guy in denim shorts rolled or cut to your thighs. You are very post-modern.

Cancer

June 21st – July 22nd

You are feeling femme fatale this week, Cancer boy. Vamp it up with leather, and fatale paraphernalia such as whips or dog collars and other apparatus of fatality, domination and the underworld. Your seductive powers are in full form due to the moon’s trine with Venus; the deep waters of your soul are a dark and enigmatic mystery that others wish to dive into with a sense of danger, apprehension, but fascination. You are magnetic this week from the moon’s pushing and pulling as it orbits closer to the earth. Men of refinement will be gathering round you and entranced by your soul’s spiritual maturity.

Leo

July 23rd – August 22nd

You are gifted and you are ageless in astrology, lovely Leo. But don’t be so arrogant or snub those who don’t tick every box on your checklist. Take a chance with a guy who might offer something new. Rather than the club circuit, peruse the local library: you may see a studious Aquarian type steaming up his glasses as you look through the book shelves at each other! Air signs are a natural fit for you— they will fan your flames to get hotter and hotter and flatter your ego!

Virgo

August 23rd – September 22nd

You are a little anal retentive Virgo, especially this week with Saturn’s rings expanding! You must relax those metaphorical muscles and emphasise your practical and sensible side, thus leading to increased pleasure in all areas. Maintain a certain amount of control but lose it too. Critical thinking is a great talent of yours, however try not to boss people around as it will rub them up the wrong way. Be careful, the veil of illusions that is Neptune and Pluto’s trist may have a work colleague struck by Cupid’s bow ironically because of your bossy behaviour! They may not leave you alone despite your disinterest!

Libra

September 23rd – October 22nd

You always want to appear fair, graceful, and as an upstanding member of society, Libra. Don’t be afraid to go outside usual social customs. At the gay club you’re looking divine with your boyish charm, but you are careful to not exchange multiple passions as to be seen as scarlet! You must choose whether you want unbridle your true desires or risk being seen as promiscuous! Don’t worry what others think! Be careful that tempers do not boil over in the heat of the gay club and a screaming catfight breaks out though. You may be held accountable, even though you were just having fun. Luckily you are good at coming across as fair minded and balanced, which will ease tensions caused by the illicit affairs you have no qualms about conducting in this period. Perhaps hang out in Stoke Newington rather than Soho, where temperaments are more subdued and the styles are less racy and raunchy there! Soho for you next week fair-faced Libran. It’s well advised to avoid behaviour that means you are being devious, rather than having to either be devious or face the consequences of your actions!

Scorpio

October 23rd – November 21st

Strong-willed, forceful and mysterious Scorpio, you like to be in control. But there is freedom in submission. While keeping your wits about you and remaining circumspect, try surrendering control for once. It could lead to professional advancement if you look out for the good advice, and it could also lead to some steamy work encounters! Finding yourself in a compromising position will be ultimately erotic, as being out of control is something you rarely afford yourself, and, because you have been fleeing from it, has been eroticised as an EROGENOUS ZONE in your psyche! Scorpio itself in your 5th astrology house this week will mean you will really allow yourself to let go, without feeling regret or that your power has been compromised. Perhaps you are a top and you will bottom for the first time. Perhaps you are bottom but still manage to hold the power (or top from the bottom), but whatever the position, this time, you will be OVERPOWERED.

Sagittarius

November 22nd – December 21st

Planet earth is turning and you are thinking of all the places you still wish to explore, Sagittarius. Dalston has been exciting for a while but now in your periphery you see visions of huge mountain-scapes and vast terrain; world wonders such as the Grand Canyon and the pyramids of Egypt call you. There may be an old romantic flame from whom you were torn apart for various reasons — a hot fire yielding smoke that blinded both of your eyes. Look inside your heart and analyse deeply with love — it will tell you the true answer. Vast oceans and experiences with animals are on your horizon.

Capricorn

December 22nd – January 19th

It’s time to get yourself down to a place of hedonism and debauchery, Capricorn; a spa, sauna, or perhaps a luxurious private getaway with a loved one could do the trick! Ambition and hard graft are your maxims, qualities of Capricorn’s earth element, but you need to balance all that work with some well-earned pampering time! (the earth needs water too, lest it become dry and parched land; infertile and unable to yield crops). Let family show you how much you are appreciated. Perhaps let a guy with a masseuse background show you appreciation with some soft sensuality/hard loving (preferably a water sign or someone with a high abundance of water signs in their chart): this will nurture you long-term outside of the bedroom: it will act as inspiration and a fertiliser of your dry Capricorn soils, whereby new crops of creativity can grow bountifully in career, family, lifestyle or business and you can reap the rewards!

Aquarius

January 20th – February 18th

You’re a freaky kind of guy and the master of all things new and pioneering, and you will want to use these skills to impress a prospective love interest. It’s always impressive to be a maverick, but you need to rope him in with a balance of your ingenuity and asking about things that interest him first. Money matters may be getting you down and making you feel constricted, but remember it’s in your Aquarian nature to be ingenious and transcend the boundaries placed on us by corporate systems or social expectations. Some things in life are free, and the ascent of Mars this week indicates some fun with a hot blooded Leo could be just what you need to unlock all that ingenuity…..

Pisces

February 19th – March 20th

A boyfriend may be afraid of you trying drag for the first time. Pisces, you’re FISHY! Don’t be afraid to try drag for the first time, despite a boyfriend’s nervous apprehensions. Your powerful subconscious has the natural ability to manifest great artistic feats, which will translate amazingly to a surreal and otherworldly drag look. The expansion of Jupiter will mean you will have powers of projection with your drag. You must choose whether you will challenge your lover’s mind or let your innate artisan spirit and dreamy unconscious be stifled!

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