It’s BEARLESQUE! *Spins chair around, sits on it backwards with legs spread, pulls chain, tosses hair whilst bucket of water falls *
This is the sort of event Cher would love. In fact if she gets wind of it she’ll probably do one of her hectic tweets in all caps that make her seem like a mad blind worm. WE LOVE YOU CHER.
In case you were wondering it’s exactly what you’d guess from the name. Bears. Burlesque. Bearlesque!
Put on by the blokey, boozey boys at Tonker, Bearlesque is taking over the rustic vaults of the Royal Vauxhall Tavern for a night of furry fun frolicking! There are performances, there are DJs, there will DEFINITELY be dancing (bears love a dance) in what promises to be a right stonker stomper tonker truck of a night!
Among the performers are Paul M, Danny Polaris and Dave The Bear, who we think is totes gorge. He’s CHEDDER gorge! We’d love to snuggle up to him on a rainy evening and watch, oh, Bridget Jones or something, whilst munching on pasties and then having doggystyle sex. Perhaps still whilst munching on pasties.
Anyway, digressing. There’s set to be a formidable lineup of Tonker’s best selection of DJs at the night too, including Chris Brogan, Steven Artis and Tim Jones.
We have also been told there are going to be “bar surprises”. God knows what that means. It could be anything from an innocent drinks deal to doing a not-so-innocent tequila shot out of Dave The Bear’s bellybutton (here’s hoping).
• Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY. 9pm–4am. Free before 10pm, £5 before midnight, £7 after.
