Whether it be a comical YouTube parody or the a iconic music video, somehow bums just make music all the more enjoyable. Here are our most ass-tounding moments…
‘Boy is a Bottom’ William, Detox, Vicky Vox
The gays went crazy for this parody by DWV – the stars of Ru Paul’s Drag Race – of ‘Girl On Fire’, and we’re sure Alicia Keys loved it as well. Or at least pretended she did. Because you know, every singer dreams of having the lyrics of their comeback single altered by three drag queens singing about anal sex. They officially coined the phrase ‘Sloppabottumus’. Unfortunately, we’ve encountered one or two in our time.
‘Baby Got Back’ Sir Mix-A-Lot
Probably the most memorable track that’s just all about the ass. “When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get SPRUNG.” Rumour has it when Nicki Minaj’s plastic surgeon asked her what she wanted she just handed him the lyrics. We still prefer Ross and Rachel’s version in Friends.
‘Call On Me’ Eric Prydz
It was the music video that showed anybody born in the 90s what it was like to be in the 80s. It looks like Olivia Newton John exploded in that dance studio. Sweat bands, leotards, leg warmers – and, of course – plenty of rounded butts.
‘My Humps’ Black Eyed Peas
Not the most flattering way to describe one’s behind, granted, but it was a damn catchy tune! In fact, one of Black Eyed Peas best to date. And it had nothing to do with us wanting to be able to pop like Fergie.
‘Spinning Around’ Kylie
She’s been on the music scene for a few decades now, but Kylie is still recognised internationally for that pert butt in those gold hot pants. It was only a short time later that every gay in Soho owned an exact replica pair.
‘Shake Ya Ass, But Watch Yo’ Self’ Mystikal
It’s the rap song that would make Eminem blush. With lyrics like, “I came here with my dick in my hand, don’t make me leave here with my foot in yo’ ass”, it’s also one that would put the scripting of most comedic genius’ to shame.
‘What (What in the Butt) Samwell
It was the MAJORLY gay YouTube viral that was circulating when we were in school, and just as ones on the cusp of realising their sexuality, the last thing they wanna see is sister-friend flicking her invisible weave and presenting to the screen. We prayed that wasn’t what ‘being gay’ meant.
‘Crazy In Love’ Beyoncé
Though the single ‘Bootylicious’ came years before it was only once Miss Knowles broke free of the group that she really exerted her sexiness. Those denim hot pants were so short that from a slightly different camera angle we could of told you what brand of Tampon she used. Fierce.
WHO’S THAT ASS
Justin Beiber
Just looking at this photo almost feels wrong. Even saving the image for this article makes us worried that we’re gonna end up on some government list. Get squatting boy!
Eminem
How is it possible that a skinny white boy has the ass of a fat woman? Now, we love a back-off as much as the next guy – but this just screams “Ben & Jerry’s”.
Ashton Kutcher
Like, really? Is this even an ass? We’ve met supermodels with anorexia that have bigger curves. Sorry, Ashton. No wonder Demi let him go – she had nothing to hold on to!
